Anyone can have a strong, rewarding relationship like Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher's. That is, anyone can as long as both parties put in the effort.
Take a look at a few ways to build a solid relationship foundation and pave the way for a long-term romance.
Tip #1 – Know What You Want from the Relationship
Falling in love with someone you're attracted to is the easy part. Understanding why you're staying in a relationship may not be as simple.
Stacey was a newly divorced single. She couldn't understand why she was only attracted to the unsavoury types. It wasn't until she started working on herself that she realised what the problem was – her. She needed to know what she wanted from her ideal relationship.
However, if you know what you want from a relationship, this decision gets easier.
Self-awareness is the main concern when determining what you want.
Who are you?
When you can answer that, it's time for the next question.
Does your potential partner share your life goals and dreams? And are you the best version of yourself when you're with this person?
Figure out your core goals and see how well they align with your partner's goals.
True, you can always compromise on certain things. But compatibility is better.
Especially when talking about your core values.
Developing a list of things you don't want in a relationship can also help. These deal-breakers may not be as evident to you unless you write them out.
Finding out if you're both on the same page relationship-wise can save you a lot of time and heartache.
Tip #2 – Learn Your Partner's Love Language
Communication goes beyond the words you say to your partner.
Alexis and Roberto had a good relationship. They knew they loved each other. But every once in a while, they felt like something was "off." And they couldn't figure out what.
That was the way things went until Roberto found Gary Chapman, PhD's book, The Five Love Languages. They finally realised what was wrong – they spoke different love languages.
Now they have a healthy and loving relationship. They admit that it can be hard to go out of their way to speak each other's language. But it's helped them build a more fulfilling relationship.
Everyone has a different love language. According to Dr. Chapman, there are five ways to show and understand love:
Acts of service
Words of affirmation
Two people rarely speak the same love language. And if these two people enter into a relationship without knowing each other's love language?
Miscommunication can ensue.
It's like two people getting together who speak different languages. It may take time to understand each other.
But putting in a little effort can lead to a more fulfilling relationship.
Tip #3 – Communicate Better with Your Partner
Communication goes beyond talking to your partner. It extends into how you talk to them.
Nicole and her husband enjoy a 15-year long marriage. Everywhere she looks, marriages are ending. It seems like divorce is in the air.
She believes one of the reasons her marriage is still going strong is the respect they have for each other. Nicole genuinely wants to hear what her husband has to say. She respects his opinion, even when she doesn't agree with him. She believes that feeling safe enough to share their deepest, most intimate selves is what keeps them together.
Making small talk may help develop intimacy.
Yes, you might get bored listening to the mundane details of each other's lives. But talking about the experiences you have in common can help you feel closer to your partner.
Remember to be a good listener.
It's not enough to be a body to talk at. Develop and practice active listening skills, so your partner feels like they're heard.
Also, find a healthy balance between talking and listening. It's okay to talk about yourself.
Make sure, though, that your partner has equal time to talk about themselves.
Tip #4 – Keep the Fun Alive
After a while, relationships can get a little humdrum.
That's not a reflection on the love and devotion you and your partner feel towards each other. It's just the way it is sometimes.
Especially after the so-called "honeymoon phase" is over.
So, how do you keep the spark alive in your relationship? Renner and Lancer are a good example.
Renner and Lance met 15 years ago on a chat line. Over a decade later, these LA natives' relationship is still going strong. To keep things fun, they go out on regular date nights. Renner and Lance also enjoy romantic cruises as often as possible.
First, you need to prioritise your relationship. It may take a little extra work.
But it's fun work. Promise.
Try these tips to keep the fun alive:
Try new activities together
Surprise each other
Go on date nights
Come up with a bucket list
Spending quality time together should be a priority. Whether that means some special "phones-off" time each night. Or going on exotic holidays.
Every moment counts.
One woman met her significant other while they both worked for the same airline. She's since moved onto another career.
But her spouse still flies around the world. And she makes sure to pack special surprises in his suitcase every time he leaves.
Quiet moments with your partner are just as important as active ones. Overall, though, it should still be fun.
Strengthen Your Foundation for a More Fulfilling Relationship Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher's love story isn't a one-off.
Everyone has the capacity to enter into strong and rewarding relationships. But you need to create a strong foundation to make it last.
Knowing what you want from a relationship is the first step. When you know what you want, you're able to recognise a great partner when they come along.
Also, you need to take the time to understand each other's love languages. Miscommunication can happen in different ways. But understanding each other's love languages can go a long way in reducing those incidents.
Communication is important if you want a rewarding relationship. Sometimes you may talk about deep, emotional issues. But other times, it may be small talk.
The point is to keep talking. Each moment brings you closer together.
Finally, don't forget to have fun in your relationship – even if you have to think up activities to do together.
A relationship with another person is an exciting journey. It has its challenges. Its ups and downs. But all the effort you put in is ultimately worth it.
Are you ready to take the next step toward your life goals?
Call us for a free one-on-one coaching session.
Get ready for an inspiring 45-minute phone call to help you bridge the gap from where you are now to where you'd like to be in your life.
About the Author
As a business mentor, Peter Conna inspires business owners to apply rapid growth strategies in their businesses. Perhaps more importantly he helps bring more balance to their personal lives, especially their health and relationships.